Are you a daisy, orchid or tulip?
Have you ever wondered why people from the same family can be so different? Your dad might be cool, calm, and collected, whereas your sister is hesitant and worries about most things. Perhaps you are agreeable or have a short fuse or get overwhelmed easily. These differences can be attributed to your temperament.
Temperament dictates our emotional sensitivity to surroundings and experiences. It is biologically hard-wired and present when we’re born. Generally speaking, calm babies grow into calm adults, while sensitive babies grow into sensitive adults. It is important to highlight that having a certain kind of temperament is neither good nor bad. It is just like being born with brown or blonde hair, blue or green eyes, it’s not your choice or fault, but just simply is.
Regardless of temperament, everyone can experience a wide range of emotions, that are typically influenced by any given situation. If you’re coping with stress at work or school, you might feel impatient or you feel disappointed when you don’t get your dream job. However, temperament represents your overarching disposition, and can influence the strength of your reaction to setbacks and successes.
Curious to know about your emotional temperament?
Plants have been used to reflect on, and understand, emotional temperament – bear with us as we explain.
Highly sensitive people have been likened to, “orchids”, which we all know are beautiful flowers that need a very particular environment to thrive. They need the exact amount of sun, perfect amount of water and a nutrient-rich potting mix to flourish. These plants do not cope well with lots of changes. A person who is highly sensitive might experience sensory overload. It might feel like everything is happening all at once. They might get scared or overwhelmed or come across as shy or timid. They might be more cautious about their environment. Nonetheless, under the right conditions, they tend to be creative, empathetic, and sensitive.
Less emotionally sensitive people have been described as “daisies”. They grow anywhere and everywhere. They can grow and survive by the sea or drought-stricken areas. A person who is less emotionally sensitive will be secure in new environments or situations, such as the first day of a new job. They are less likely to be affected by adversity, less anxious and more adaptable. If there is a downside to all this resilience, it may be that they are less sensitive to the emotions of others.
Tulip people fall somewhere between the demanding orchids and the resilient daisies. They are less fragile than orchids but more sensitive than daisies. They are plants that can bounce back after being placed in difficult environments with the correct care and nurture. A person with this temperament will tend to be okay in some situations and uncomfortable in others.
Can you change your temperament?
In short, no. But you can maintain a peaceful existence with your temperament by learning more skills to tolerate it and changing the way you respond to it. If you’re a ‘glass half empty’ kind of person, you’ll have to learn to fight that impulse. Seeking the support of a mental health professional can be key in identifying and managing such traits that you find unhelpful. This is particularly important if you notice that these tendencies are adversely affecting your life.
Remember, you are not defined by your temperament. Through the process of self-exploration and skill development, you and your temperament can be friends.
References:
Lionetti, F., Aron, A., Aron, E.N., Leonard Burns, G., Jagiellowicz, J. & Pluess, M. (2018). Dandelions, tulips and orchids: evidence for the existence of low-sensitive, medium-sensitive and high-sensitive individuals. Translational Psychiatry, 8(24). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-017-0090-6.
Boyce, T. W. (2019). The orchid and the dandelion: why some children struggle and how all can thrive. Vintage.